Parents who are journalists are beginning to write about this particular "digital divide" and the controversy about whether parents should monitor their kids' social networking and blogging (see this easy-to-read New York Times columnist's account of her own household controversy). I think there is a generation gap, but it's also partly transitional. Parents took so long to know what was happening that I think teens really had reason to believe that their profiles and blogs were for them, not their parents (even though the vast majority of MySpace users, for example, are 18+). I don't blame the shock they must've felt to discover parents were checking out their online spaces. And teens deserve privacy if it doesn't threaten their personal safety and development, but - just as parents needs to acknowledge that to some degree - I think teens might want to consider understanding parents' need to ensure that that social development, identity exploration and risk assessment which are normal parts of adolescent life are safe and constructive. The normal tension that has always existed between teens and parents is just online now too, don't you think, people? I'd love to hear from others on this. Best,
Anne
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Anne Collier
BlogSafety co-director

hey
i recently discovered that my aunt had bebo, secretly, and i was raging. if my parents got bebo id be annoyed as well, because its not because its "our" space, its more id feel like they were spying on me and most of my friends would agree as well. personally believe we are entitled to our privacy. and now someone is going to come along and say "bebos not private" but mine and my friends are al private and so therefore nethng posted on it can only be seen by my friends who i have accepted.
but thats just my opinion. i cna understand why your son is anoyed, he feels like your violating his privacy, spyying on him and basically you just dont trust him.

A good example of what Larry did mention - finding old friends -
During 2001 I did spend a lot of time at a Boston University. (Wheelock. - studying media violence -)
For some reason - I left Boston without a single e-mail adr. !
When I did sign up at Facebook, and listed Wheelock 2001 -it took less than half en hour for me to get messages from FB asking if I etc etc...
Great going !
(The students lived all over the US)

So - no I have to bring my laptop to my summerhouse.......

Olav

I enjoy Facebook a lot more because it's easier to navigate, and the website isn't loaded with spam or anything like that. Plus, the privacy settings on Facebook are so much better than the settings on MySpace. In my opinion, it's more of a secure website.

Olav, I can understand your indignation and think it's great you have accounts at the major social sites as an ed-tech teacher. I think that claim comes from teens and 20-somethings (in this country, anyway) generally having been the first to discover social networking. It really came out of the blue for most parents, I think, as late as early-to-mid-2006. Social site users just weren't used to having parents there. They kind of thought it was their space because in a lot of ways it was their space. Then, when the news media and politicians in the run-up to our mid-term election last year over-hyped the risks, parents started getting engaged but in a way that reflected the very negative, pretty scary public perception. I called it the "perfect storm" of parental concern development, and it's not surprising that young people were upset about this fearful or suspicious kind of engagement. I think parental engagement is good (maybe more offline than online unless there's reason to be concerned) but balanced engagement, kind of like parenting in general. I really, really hope we can swing the pendulum back in this country sometime soon (national TV shows like "To Catch a Predator" really don't help). Check out this fun article in the New York Times, written by the mother of a Facebook users. Thanks for posting,
Anne
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Anne Collier
BlogSafety co-director