My ex husband left in 2000 when our kids were 4 and 3 to have a relationship with a 21 year old girl...he was 32. We were divorced in 2001. He only wanted every other weekend visitation with them. It was a struggle to get him to pay child support. I made sure my kids never went without and didn't discuss the pressure I was under. He was self-employed during this time so he knew the games he could play with withholding child support and did. My ex is a manipulator, has always talked down about me and my family to our children, plays mind games with the children, and loves to "pretend" he is there for the kids. In 2008 he finally got a job with an employer. Because of this child support staring coming directly out of his paycheck. He was furious! He talked to our kids about wanting them to come live with him full-time. At first my 12 year old son was on board and absolutely hated me. He would tell me that his dad has no money cuz he had to pay child support. That I am a LOSER! That when he is with his dad he can do whatever he wants, and that I am constantly in his business…like wanting to know who he is with and what he is doing on the weekend. My 11 year daughter wasn't really sure. Court papers were filed. My life became a living hell. I got away from my ex through a divorce, but now he was reentering my home through the brain washing he was doing to the kids. It took my son 13 months to realize what his dad was doing. He no longer wanted to live with his dad full-time, but go 50/50. My ex could no longer get to our son, so he turned his manipulation on our daughter. He has let her down so many times during the past 9 years that this new display of attention and affection is what she was craving from her father. She turned on me and since Dec 2008 has such loyalty to her dad. I believe that in order for her relationship with her father to continue, she has to hate me as much as he hates me. Every heard of a sociopath...that is my ex. All he cares about is winning at any cost. He uses the kids and there is nothing I can do right now to get them to see it because of their age. I have been told the parent they know will unconditionally be there for them is the one that takes so much abuse. The parent that has been absent...walks on water and can continue to disappoint them, but they get angry at the one who always follows through for them...in this case, that’s me! I knew I could win if this went through court and a guardian at lieum...but at what cost? My kids would hate me cuz their dad wanted them and they wanted it to be fair, so in March of 2009 I decided to end this and agreed to 50/50 placement. My ex is still playing mind games with our 12 year old daughter. She tells me on a regular basis that she hates me, to "F..off", that I am a loser, that I have no life, and has such a negative attitude and tone towards any normal conversation I have with her. Our son, who just turned 14, came to me and said, "Mom, I cannot understand why Kendra has such a deep, deep hatred towards you." I have always come to all her extra curricular events. Now she will not even acknowledge my presence. I can say "Hi, honey" or "Good Game" and she will just walk away from me. If her dad happens to come to an event, which is rare, she will make a big scene about ignoring me. Her dad and she will giggle about it like two teenage girls. I cry myself to sleep so many nights, because I love her, I have been there for her, and she treats me like a door mat. She is so blinded right now and I have serious concerns about her anger and lack of any type of empathy towards me and people other than her dad. I need peace in my life, but feel letting her go live with her dad full-time would only worsen her because of his "sociopath" personality. For those of you who don't know what I am dealing with, please Google "sociopath" before responding to my post. I cannot find anyone around me who has been through something similar. If you have been, and can give me advice, please respond.