Oh Temtem(((((temtem)))))))) Do you hear what you just said? You miss your little girl. I miss my little girl too. But that Girl disappeared and became an abusive person that i dont even know. A person unrecognizeable to me anymore. A stranger to me the last 9 years. I to was not sleeping and still have dreams that we are friends again But I have learned to just not dwell on it as much. You are lucky to have a job to go believe me! I have nothing but time on my hands and its a battle but it is One I am winning. Not easily! Now I am getting a little bummed out thinking to myself how May will be a year already! It still feels like yesterday and I know I will never hear from her again because she tunred into a stone cold heartless person and My influence is no longer in her life so I have lost. I am accepting it. Not easily not gracegully But SHE HAS TO HAVE the WAKE UP CALL! This isnt the first time she has pulled this stunt but it is the last for me!!! I was always the one bowing down and throwing out the olive branch and that gesture alone made her walk harder on me the next time she got her panties in a bunch! You Miss the person you knew But do you miss the person she has become??? I dont miss the abuse. There is an old Grass roots Song " Where were you When I needed you" There are several lines that express How I feel. Even tho he is singing to his girlfriend so much applies to our children. If you google it there are a ton of videos come up and here is the link to the lyrics http://www.songlyrics.com/the-grass-roots/where-were-you-when-i-needed-you-lyrics/
When I hear this song on Sirius 60s It reminds me of the Hell I went thru the last 9 years! Again I promise if you hang tough it does get easier Cry as much you need to I did! Break stuff I did LOL! And I took some of her wedding Pics and stabbed my son in law in the face I spit on him, ! It made me feel great! Just what ever you do, do it behind closed doors LOL People will think you are nuts! But it was a great release for me. I also go to the shooting range and I just shoot away and that is a great stress reliever. You have to fight hard other wise you wont heal! I started seeing a therapist recently which has helped me a lot! I shared on here a few posts back If I can help anyone on here thru this TOTAL BS that no good parent should have endure then Ill keep sharing! Even tho he thinks I have it under control and dont need him. Please be strong and please keep us posted!

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CaraBoo13

The first thing you have to do is Cancel her FB page! Unfortunately, FB doesn't have anywhere on their site where a Parent can go to get this done. They are not supposed to allow any child under 16, i believe, to have a fb page. I want my daughter' fb page cancelled, but can't find out who to call or email. Again, nothing on fb that let's you know how to do this. If anyone on this page knows, please send me an eamli.

thank you,

Tomas

Mark You are right if the person with the problem faces it first and is honest! here is the problem I see with not only my daughter but with many others. They have a tendency to create their own version of why they are mad. And then when they have a consant bad influence of someone or several people feeding into it and stoking the fire, well there is no turning back until HOPEFULLY one day reality sets in. Things are not as simple as they appear when there is many outside influences. One on one yes but these kids today cant even talk to each other let alone anyone else. They do not know how to communicate unless it is texting. Face to face they will crash and burn. And that applies to adult children as well. Texting was the ruination of communication not an improvement!

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CaraBoo13

hi there!
i have read your post and i think that there are a lot of possibilities that lead her to behaving that way. all I can say from what you have told us, you should be more try spying with your two other daughters. try getting close to them and try discovering from them the real reason your eldest hates being with you. find out the real reason first then try to to do something about it later on.

Hello MY friends. I hope you are well. I would like to share my visit with my therapist today and Maybe it will help some of you! I told him that I feel guilty for saying NO more! For turning now and walking away and not bothering to try anymore. I feel guilty for not giving a damn anymore. And for not wanting to see my daughter anymore. He said to me That is acceptance of the situation and its hard isnt it. I said yes but its freedom for me. He said Its fine to reach that point as long as I dont completely shut the door and always leave the door open for line of communication. I told him that door was never shut My daughter closed hers and I accept that I cannot change that. He said No you cant but its ok. He did say to me when we speak about my daughter if I had not told him she was almost 39 he would swear we talking about a 16 year old. He said she has to realize the position she has taken and hopefully someday she will. Anyway I feel good because I know I am not CRAZY FOR FEELING THE WAY i DO. I hope if any of you having guilt feelings this helps in some small way.

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CaraBoo13

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CaraBoo13

Hi everyone. Maybe somewhere out there someone can give me advice.
How do I get my husband to see what his daughter is doing to us. Everyone else can, a couple have told him but he keeps saying but she is our daughter. Today I said have you sorted or even started to sort the issue out.( That is why he has flown to her and has just extended his stay by a week.) No we are doing it one day at a time when i asked exactly what he has done -( he is staying with his parents) I got up and then I went here and did this. It is a mess . Well do something about it. Stop telling me about the mess and not do anything about it. He says You could sort it out if you were here but she doesn't want you here. So today I have said enough ( said that before haven't I?) i want nothing to do with her. She is just using the baby as a control issue over me. So i will make it easier for everyone and I will tell you now that you can tell her I don't want anything to do with her now or in the future. He then says Don't tell me what to say!!!!
How do I get through to this husband that he seems to be doing not much. He says he is supporting them but he would NEVER change a baby, dress a baby, feed a baby or be left with one for any length of time.So I am not sure how he is support them. I suggested he stay there permanently but he says no he doesn't know what he can do. Is it me or ????? that doesn't get this or is there serious avoidance issues here.
By the way the mother-in-law is living with them for as long as she is needed and being treated very very unwelcoming by my daughter.
The only one I am really worried about is the baby. Who has been born with a disability. So so sad that I am unable to offer support. Tonight I have heard that the son-in-law has been told so many untruths about me that it has wrecked what ever 'relationship' we could have had.How can these people get away with saying the things she does about me with out an ounce of repercussion. My husband seems to think it is OK.
I think it is time I moved on and out.

Thank you for the warm welcome here. I cannot say things are better, but I am learning to detach myself from my Daughter. It's not easy, I forget some days and other days it comes rushing back. I have had a lot of time to think about it. My husband has a big role in the whole think too. I have caught him talking about me to both of my kids. When ever we do not get along it seems he whines to them. He is a recovering alcoholic. I have also detached from him, and joined Alanon which has helped me, but not stopped me from getting depressed. Hopefully this will pass.

Well Maggar that sure sounds encouraging and it is so nice to have an answer! Unfortunately we need your daughter to have the same revelation! But At least you know you are not going crazy!!! Hopefully now this therapist can help you deal with this crap! I have an epiphany every day about my daughter and unfortunately its never good! (Lol) But I am doing much better and Have stopped eating my heart out over this whole situation and have accepted that she isn't coming back, and truthfully I still Have nothing nice to say to her after almost 9 months coming up. So it is just as well for now she stays the hell out of my path! Pls keep us posted with ANY MORE revelations because hopefully it will help someone else! Good Luck My friend!!!!

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CaraBoo13