I have a 6 year old who tells me periodically that he wants to go to heaven and be with GOD. I don't know why he says those things to me. He also never wants to be with me he always request to go to his dads house and not be with me. This hurts me so much that I just break down and cry. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oh Tracey I am so sorry to hear this but. Forst know you are not alone you can see that from this forum. Secondly Congratulations you are picking yourself up and healing and making your life better. As for your daughter you have no choice but to just give her time and let her heal or be angry or what ever it is she needs to do. Truthfully Id stop the emails. I would send her one last emails and Just say to her I love you, I know I am not perfect and I am trying to be the mother and person you would be proud of. We would love for you to be a part of our wedding day and hopefully all move forward that day to a long and loving and happy relationship. Then Id send her an invitation and leave it at that. You need to not let this drag you down or you will never heal . She is young she may get over it she may not. What you need to realize is she isnt a baby anymore and we cannot coddle them or convince them . They have their own mind sets and they think they know it all. I pray my daughter gets a clue but I seriously doubt she ever will. But I refuse to allow her to ruin my life. I sacrificed most of my life for her and gave her a wonderful life. My husband and I cherished her and we were so proud of her. But they get warped ideas in their head and you cant change them. Make your life with your new man and hang tough and stay strong. You are an amazing woman who has walked a long hard road and not many can walk in your shoes or begin to even understand it. Hold your head Up You Rock and dont you ever doubt that for a minute!!! And you hit the nail on the head when you said How they can form close bonds with others and not you.......I think thats the thing that bothers me most also. I once told my daughter A mother doesnt carry a baby under heart for 9 months and then its over. Its a bond you think will be there forever. And it breaks your heart when they are oblivious to it.

--
Edited by CaraBoo13 at 10/18/2011 8:27 AM EDT

I am so sorry, David97, I truly know how you feel. It is so hard to feel you have lost a child but still knowing that they are out there living and forming close bonds with others and not you. I hope that we can all heal and feel peace once again soon.

Ya know I just watched a movie 2 nights ago on lifetime movie network with Hillery Swank she was 15 and it sounds exactly like your situation and the bottom line was she was smoking pot and hanging out with a dirt bag boyfriend that the family never met She was an A student who went to an F in a short period of time. She hit her mother several times and then slammed her fathers hand in the bedroom door and broke it. her little brother called the cops and she was arrested for assault. That is what it took to for her to get a clue...One night locked up in juvie and an appearance before a judge with ordered anger management therapy and community service for her and the whole family eventually went to therapy. Your daughter needs tough love and a rude awakening! But one big positive you have on your side is she is young yet! Nip this in the bud before she is of legal age. Good luck and please keep us all here posted we really do care!!!!!

Would like to post some information and ask some advice. My 14 year old daughter had always, and I THINK still feels sweet and kind to others and mostly grateful for the life she has. Starting in the grade, she lying came to the surface both at home and school. She has had some disciplinary intervention in school and has been seeing a counselor for almost a year. She does take some meds for ADD in past year as well. She seems to want to do well in school, home and socially most of the time. But in the past 18 mos. she can turn into a child we can hardly recognize. Monthly cycles aside, her behavior can be quite chilling for my husband and I to observe, and some other family members. She is defiant, non-communicative and almost abusive in her emotional and verbal response to our boundary setting and privilege adjustments accordingly. I feel she can even be a little spoiled and do feel myself giving in and TO , to keep the peace, and bring her back. At times, she frightens me, I am sorry to say. She has Anger, that is rearing its ugly head mostly in the past few years. She was never a tantrum child, but has low levels of frustration. There are times, that NO Consequences we tell her may come bother her AT ALL. It feels like a child without a conscience sometimes. That she would sacrifice family, friends, pets, privileges, you name it, to stone-wall us with silence. Not threats penetrate her armor. She took me by surprise and hit me one day. More and more, I feel fear around her when we discipline. We love her dearly, and when the clouds part, she looks and feels so sweet and normal, we almost think what we witnessed was CRAZY. Any suggestions to start with? I am slowly feeling more and more like I don't like my own child and I feel like I do not know how to parent this child. Thanks.

Hey Supermom! Thanks for the words of encouragement!!! And Yes I do realize all these people only know what she has told them. I told her that years ago! I said to her how can you allow these people to say all these things when they don;t even know your father and i? She didnt care. And it was the same with this ass she is married to. We had er met him once 2 yrs previously and one day she comes home and tells us she is marrying him. So I said well your 29 years old and old enough to make your own choices but do youthink we can meet him again? We had met him once 2 years earlier and then for the next 2 years all he did was verbally abuse her and break her heart and that is all I ever heard about him. So We were surprised when she told us she was marrying him because we had no clue she was even seeing him. (she had her own Apt) But he told her NO His mother told him he didnt need to meet us again. So this was a night mare from day one and continued to get worse. His mother and Him cut me and MY husband completely out of the wedding because they said it was none of our business. His Mother did the same thing when her daughter gotr married she told every one that it was none of the grooms mother's business and she managed to turn her son in law against his mother too. They dont want any outsiders in their coccon and I have watched my daughter over the years think just like they all do. All my hard work of what I taught her down the drain like dirty sink water. But yes Ultimately it is her doing these things. She is so afraid of losing her husband and that family she sacrificed her own. But she also sees what they do to you if you cross them. Because that very groom they helped throw his mother under the bus is now getting divorced from their daughter and the only person who stuck by his side when all was said and done is HIS MOTHER. My daughter is terrified of getting on their bad side but ya know what that is no Excuse for her behavior! Not at 38 years old. If she was early a teen or early 20's I could cut her some slack but I cannot anymore. We have moved on we have even changed our will because Charities deserve it more then she does, It is still new to me but in another 4 months Im sure It will be old and hoepfully on my mind less and less. IM so Glad I found this Forum it helps to know I am not alone but sometimes I still feel bad because most of these problems her are with Teens and I was teen so I can relate But at 38 and really my whole life including today I always respected my parents and did what I could for them and Believe me my mom was a real winner at times but I never stopped talking to her we would fight and in a few hours all was forgotten because she is my mother plain and simple. And I am at the Nursing home every other day now and I do her laundry 2x a week and I am there every holiday. MY daughter doesnt even acknowledge my mother on Mothers Day no Card No visit or any holiday. Last Christmas was the first time in 8 years she wenton a holiday to see my mother. Other wise she shows up maybe 3x a year. And we all live near each other and the nursing home so it isnt like its a long drive. And she was and still is the apple of my mothers eye and she knows this! So Yes Once again She is responsible for that behavior and it makes me insane! I just keep praying to God to give me strength and please help me to not have another Stroke once was enough and it took so much away from me and I was just feeling strong before all this BS started. Sometimes I think she wants me to be weak again.... Horrible when you start believe your own flesh and blood would rather see you down!

--
Edited by CaraBoo13 at 09/23/2011 9:31 AM EDT

--
Edited by CaraBoo13 at 09/23/2011 9:35 AM EDT

*COACH* haha, darn auto spell.