> Hey Supermom. What a great essay. If I have your permission please may I print it out and give it to my husband ?
> Yes I was in tears after reading this and you areobviously doing a whole lot of stuff right to have the other children doing OK. Yes ones with issues certainly do take up all your time,money, thoughts and energy.
> Give her a HUGE hug from me and yourself. I know she will be OK in life she is a very thoughtful person.
> Take care
> My husband is currently visiting the eldest daughter to try and sort our mess out. I by the name has had enough of her attitude towards the rest of the family.

Hello Hadenough 1,
Sure!!! You may print and show to your husband... I do not mind at all... I just wanted to share some of my victories .... I have shared the defeats in great numbers! (SMH) God is still in the blessing business... If I have not learned anything through this experience, I have learned that God is a GOD of balance... He takes the "unclean" & "cleans"... He "rights" the "wrong"... He takes those things that are meant to "hurt" you and uses them to "help" others.... I am just grateful....... I hope your life will smooth out soon... Lots of prayer and redirecting of your attentions will truly help you to heal... I know this to be true in my case.... Take care... Many Blessing To You!!!!

Hey Supermom. What a great essay. If I have your permission please may I print it out and give it to my husband ?
Yes I was in tears after reading this and you areobviously doing a whole lot of stuff right to have the other children doing OK. Yes ones with issues certainly do take up all your time,money, thoughts and energy.
Give her a HUGE hug from me and yourself. I know she will be OK in life she is a very thoughtful person.
Take care
My husband is currently visiting the eldest daughter to try and sort our mess out. I by the name has had enough of her attitude towards the rest of the family.

Hello Family,
I have not posted in a long while... I have been trying to HEAL & MOVE PAST all that I have endured for the past 10 plus years with my (21) year old!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!! I am in a much better place now... Although the issues with my daughter are presently much the same ... My (21) year old is still not taking her medicine properly for her Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia Disorder. However, I am choosing to focus more on the more positive aspects of my life at this time and space that I am in....
I STILL have a loving husband that is hanging in there with me/us... (3) children/young adults that are soaring in their own personal journeys & lives... My eldest (son/24 years old) is about to graduate from UCF BS in Engineering ... My (daughter/18 years old) is on her way to Florida State University in Tallahassee FL. this year... B.S. Global/International Affairs... My baby, (11 years old) is trucking along in her own speed... She is maintaining her Honor Roll Student status and is a truly well rounded & adjusted little girl... In spite of all that WE as a family have endured at the hands of my daughter (21).
I write to you today to share one of my (18 year old's) essays that she submitted for the college application process... It truly affected me & I hope that you can gain some hope from it as well... I thought that through all that she had witnessed with her elder sister etc... That she would follow in her foot steps... Well.... Just read..... ;0)

ESSAY: Question- Are there times that you have felt as though you, or others were unfairly treated? What did you do to help the situation. Has anything changed do to your contributions?
ESSAY ANSWER:

There are many times that I feel that my mother was/is unfairly treated and not given the opportunities she deserves. In my early years of elementary school, I often remember times of great hardship and trials involving my older sister and mother. My older sister is three years my senior. There were many times that she would become involved in fights and other negative situations in school and the surrounding community. I remember painfully enduring and watching my mother’s responses to all of the negative choices and decisions made by my older sister throughout her teenage and now adult years. I feel as though my older sister unfairly treated my mother. Due to this unfair treatment, my mother has not been able to have the opportunity to experience basic peace of mind, heart, and spirit. My older sister’s actions, decisions, and choices have detrimentally affected my mother and family.

I vividly remember being in the fourth grade and over hearing a conversation between my mother and stepfather. My older sister, then in middle school, decided not to go to school. Instead, my older sister decided to travel to another state with the next-door neighbor. My mother was inconsolably distraught. She notified the police, searched the neighborhood, notified neighbors, family, and friends in an attempt to locate my older sister. By the end of the day, my mother was emotionally and physically exhausted. My mother did not deserve this treatment. Because of all of the unfair and negative treatment and experiences, my mother now feels as though she cannot go to work without fearing the worst is occurring in her absence. It is extremely unfair that my mother has experienced and endured such treatment, emotional stress, and heartache.
The cause of the unfair treatment is due to my sister’s inability to make sound decisions and choices. My sister’s selfish behavior and poor decision making has caused much pain and discontentment for my mother and family. My sister’s unfair treatment of my mother has detrimentally altered our relationship forever.
Over the years, I have tried in many ways to correct the harm and pain caused by my sister’s unfair treatment of my mother. I truly desired to erase some of my mother’s pain by being the daughter that she could trust and depend. Throughout my academic career, I have worked truly hard to achieve and maintain the highest scores possible. I have been an extremely studious student, dedicated community service participant, honest and trust worthy person, and a loving and dependable daughter. I made a conscious decision to do all that I could do to bring as much joy, trust, and peace back into our home.
I cannot definitively say that my actions have altered, or improved the situation for my mother. My sister’s actions and decision-making processes are still the same. However, I know that I have done all that I could do to make my mother smile from day-to-day. I can only hope that through my positive interactions, academic/personal achievements, and growth my mother is now able to experience some peace of mind in knowing that I truly love, respect, and care for her dearly.

I WAS SPEECHLESS.... I CRIED LIKE A 2-YEAR OLD BABY AFTER READING THIS!!!YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THINGS WILL AFFECT THOSE THAT ARE WATCHING THE MADNESS UNFOLD... I THOUGHT THAT I HAD "PROTECTED" HER/THEM FROM THE FOOLISHNESS... I GUESS NO MATTER HOW MUCH "WE" PRETEND THAT THE OTHER CHILDREN DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON... IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEY TRULY DO KNOW!!! AT TIMES, THEY ACTUALLY KNOW MORE THAN WE ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE HOME! JUST REMEMBER TO PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE "INNOCENT BI-STANDERS" AS YOU DEAL WITH THE "ISSUES" AT HAND! THE "INNOCENT ONES" ARE WATCHING, LISTENING, & TAKING NOTES.... JUST A LITTLE FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!! THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU!

Welcome Rachel's mom and tikrrm
Yes I think Rachels mom is just getting the late teenage attitude. Where she hasn't been expsoed to the ' i know everything' stage until she has gone to college. That still give no justification for the rudeness/disrespect. I can imagine teling her how you feel wil get the eye roll and even more attitude. However, then you have made it clear to her how you feel. Once that is done my suggestion is do not jump to her whims and requests. try not to respond to her attitude and go on you rway doing what YOU want or need. I bet you hae changed all your activities and normal things to cater for her cominghome. Well DON"T continue on with how you want to live and get her tofit in. If not then continue to do and eat ( yes I bet that has changed as well- you are preparing all the things she likes) she wont die from having to eat what you have prepared or going along with things you are doing.
Tikrrm. When I read your letter the only thing that jumped out at me was STOP!!! if the husband finds it funny suggest he do it, they both see you runnning around and getting worried she wont get in to college anywhere. Now is that your problem? NO it is hers. Leave all the paper work on a table undone, Get on and do things you want to do and if they ask for help be a little busy right then. Re the money where do these kids get off thinking that what is yours is theirs?? If you offer money that is a different matter but you losing it or rolling it up and smoking it or giving it to the homeless ( they certainly would respect you and it more) is NONE of her business. STOP enabling her to treat you like this. She wants to go to college then she has to do something.
Good luck to you both and PLEASE look after yourselves.

WELCOME RACHELS MOM AND TIKRRN
You have found a great place to come and share and vent and hopefully take away some peace of mind and some helpful advice from those of us who have gone thru or are going thru the same Crap!
To Rachels Mom I think in your daughters case sounds like she is just in with THE IN CROWD right now. SHe is going thru the phase where they think they are adults and know it all and they are smarter then us because they are in college. My advice to you is give her the cold shoulder and let her know Look I am still your mother and It is because of me and you r father you have reached this point in your life. Let her know calmy that you are still the bigger adults and disrespect and attitude will not be tolerated. Now if you get a lash back on that and you are paying for her education then I would tell her since she now thinks she has all the answers then Good luck with that and you feel she no longer needs your financial assistance sinc she is now so Damn Worldy! I know how you feel. I feel betrayed my daughter and she has no excuse since she will vbe turning 39 in April and should have gotten lifes clues many years ago. I am now experiencing with her the things I never did when she should have showed these traits. MY daughter has no excuse! And I dont have the hope of her ever growing out of it or it being a phase. But stand strong and do not allow her to bully you. State your peace and then hold tight and dont budge. It will eventually make or break her.

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CaraBoo13

My daughter is 20 and in college. She's doing great academically, but (as she was here for long break at Xmas) has become a totally different person from when she was in HS. She never went through that period where she seemed to hate me (and her Dad) - but now, it's like there's this huge black cloud around her - she hates us, can't bear us, and I feel so USED! Will she come back? Will we ever have good realationship again? I feel like I just gave my whole life to someone who doesn't care one bit. How can I get out of this? I grieve for the daughter I seem to have lost.

Thanks careboo13.

I will get threw this. Hopefully as she matures she will see the light of day. I'm not holding my breath, I just hope.