Hello Family,
I have not posted in a long while... I have been trying to HEAL & MOVE PAST all that I have endured for the past 10 plus years with my (21) year old!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!! I am in a much better place now... Although the issues with my daughter are presently much the same ... My (21) year old is still not taking her medicine properly for her Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia Disorder. However, I am choosing to focus more on the more positive aspects of my life at this time and space that I am in....
I STILL have a loving husband that is hanging in there with me/us... (3) children/young adults that are soaring in their own personal journeys & lives... My eldest (son/24 years old) is about to graduate from UCF BS in Engineering ... My (daughter/18 years old) is on her way to Florida State University in Tallahassee FL. this year... B.S. Global/International Affairs... My baby, (11 years old) is trucking along in her own speed... She is maintaining her Honor Roll Student status and is a truly well rounded & adjusted little girl... In spite of all that WE as a family have endured at the hands of my daughter (21).
I write to you today to share one of my (18 year old's) essays that she submitted for the college application process... It truly affected me & I hope that you can gain some hope from it as well... I thought that through all that she had witnessed with her elder sister etc... That she would follow in her foot steps... Well.... Just read..... ;0)
ESSAY: Question- Are there times that you have felt as though you, or others were unfairly treated? What did you do to help the situation. Has anything changed do to your contributions? ESSAY ANSWER: There are many times that I feel that my mother was/is unfairly treated and not given the opportunities she deserves. In my early years of elementary school, I often remember times of great hardship and trials involving my older sister and mother. My older sister is three years my senior. There were many times that she would become involved in fights and other negative situations in school and the surrounding community. I remember painfully enduring and watching my mother’s responses to all of the negative choices and decisions made by my older sister throughout her teenage and now adult years. I feel as though my older sister unfairly treated my mother. Due to this unfair treatment, my mother has not been able to have the opportunity to experience basic peace of mind, heart, and spirit. My older sister’s actions, decisions, and choices have detrimentally affected my mother and family.
I vividly remember being in the fourth grade and over hearing a conversation between my mother and stepfather. My older sister, then in middle school, decided not to go to school. Instead, my older sister decided to travel to another state with the next-door neighbor. My mother was inconsolably distraught. She notified the police, searched the neighborhood, notified neighbors, family, and friends in an attempt to locate my older sister. By the end of the day, my mother was emotionally and physically exhausted. My mother did not deserve this treatment. Because of all of the unfair and negative treatment and experiences, my mother now feels as though she cannot go to work without fearing the worst is occurring in her absence. It is extremely unfair that my mother has experienced and endured such treatment, emotional stress, and heartache.
The cause of the unfair treatment is due to my sister’s inability to make sound decisions and choices. My sister’s selfish behavior and poor decision making has caused much pain and discontentment for my mother and family. My sister’s unfair treatment of my mother has detrimentally altered our relationship forever.
Over the years, I have tried in many ways to correct the harm and pain caused by my sister’s unfair treatment of my mother. I truly desired to erase some of my mother’s pain by being the daughter that she could trust and depend. Throughout my academic career, I have worked truly hard to achieve and maintain the highest scores possible. I have been an extremely studious student, dedicated community service participant, honest and trust worthy person, and a loving and dependable daughter. I made a conscious decision to do all that I could do to bring as much joy, trust, and peace back into our home.
I cannot definitively say that my actions have altered, or improved the situation for my mother. My sister’s actions and decision-making processes are still the same. However, I know that I have done all that I could do to make my mother smile from day-to-day. I can only hope that through my positive interactions, academic/personal achievements, and growth my mother is now able to experience some peace of mind in knowing that I truly love, respect, and care for her dearly.
I WAS SPEECHLESS.... I CRIED LIKE A 2-YEAR OLD BABY AFTER READING THIS!!!YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THINGS WILL AFFECT THOSE THAT ARE WATCHING THE MADNESS UNFOLD... I THOUGHT THAT I HAD "PROTECTED" HER/THEM FROM THE FOOLISHNESS... I GUESS NO MATTER HOW MUCH "WE" PRETEND THAT THE OTHER CHILDREN DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON... IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEY TRULY DO KNOW!!! AT TIMES, THEY ACTUALLY KNOW MORE THAN WE ABOUT THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE HOME! JUST REMEMBER TO PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE "INNOCENT BI-STANDERS" AS YOU DEAL WITH THE "ISSUES" AT HAND! THE "INNOCENT ONES" ARE WATCHING, LISTENING, & TAKING NOTES....
JUST A LITTLE FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!! THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU!