Brittsmom, one indication that possibly words have been out in your daughter's head is when she starts saying things that are not true or never happened. It's very common in divorce situations. Look up parental alienation. I'm not saying this is happening but it does happen. When my ex came back into my girls' lives he told them all sorts of lies to make me look bad and him look like the one that had to leave for his own sanity when actually he was having an affair and did not want to admit that he left his family to be with someone else espcially since they broke up a short time after the divorce.

The kids would come to me and ask me if this or that happened, or if I said this or that. It was amazing what lies he was trying to fill their heads with. I did try to talk to him and it only made it worse.

Good thing was the kids caught him in his own lies. Old habits die hard and he was unfaithful to his second wife so they saw. However, I am not sure I was able to dispell everything and any hint that's left behind places doubt.

Is there anyway you and speak to your ex about the tardy days? I am assuming he has no custody rights? If you take her back against her will and she is angry already it could make things worse for the two of you but I would be concerned as to why she can't talk and why she hads been tardy for school and I think I'd be trying to find out your rights.

Good luck!

AVR1962...Thank you for your response...It's been three months sense she has moved in with them...but she still doesn't want to come back. To top it off...I called her school today and found out that she has served 5 days of detention due to tardies. Two more and she will be receiving another 5 days.. past that she will be suspended. When I talk to her though, she tells me that everything is great and no problems. The last time I spoke to her on the phone (about a month ago) she seamed to have had a hard time talking to me (her dad and step mom were present) and not being able to answer my simple questions such as "what did you and your friends do this weekend?", "have you been skating?" Our relationship has gotten so much worse lately...she tells me now "I just can't talk to you" when she use to talk to me all the time. She also told me that I was not a caring mother because I wouldn't allow her to make her own decisions and wanted to see her fail (which by the way I HAVE NEVER SAID). I wonder if someone is putting this into her head?

I am so confused and think I need to step in and bring her back against her will. (I have had full custody)

TULSAC.......You are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't believe the cruelty of some children. They don't deserve decent parents and it will bite them in the butt. They have children that are observing their treatment of you and will one day treat them in the same manner. it is the law of the harvest....you reap what you sow!
Hang in there! And thanks to everyone on this site that share in the pain that no parent should feel. It helps me to cope when I see that there are others going through.
One thing we MUST not forget are the "good" children that do love and respect us. We need to focus on them even more than we focus on the bad seed. It is not fair to allow the hateful ones to absorb our emotions and time. (I AM MAINLY TALKING TO ME!!)

Hello! I am new to blogging, but this looks like a great way to reach out to others!

My daughter is 16 years old. Her father and I divorced when she was 3. Her father didn't pay child support (and I did not enforce it) and was not a part of her life...when I asked him for financial help with her, he would tell me that he had other bills to pay. So I did the best I could with raising her.

Lets fast forward now...her father has remarried and just within the past few years has started sending her birthday cards and acknowledging her. She talks to her step-mom constantly.

She has always wanted to be in her fathers life, she always felt rejected by him. But in her eyes, he hung the moon regardless. Even with his drug history!

She use to talk to me all the time regarding problems and I always thought we had a good relationship until I gave her the option of moving in with her dad. She jumped on it...it hurt me to know that it thrilled her so much. She moved in with them three months ago. Just within that short time, she never calls me anymore and when I do finally get in contact with her, she tells me that we just argue all the time and she can't talk to me.

Let me add: before she moved in with them, she had came to me saying that she changed her mind and wanted to stay because of their lifestyle and they wouldn't be able to financially support her needs, then she changed her mind and wanted to stay with them once she got there. They live with her step-moms aunt. My daughter started school in a different school than I was originally told. I asked her if she had taken her drivers test yet and she informed me that her dad and step-mom didn't have the gas money to take her.

I feel that her attitude has changed drastically sense she moved down there and that the relationship I had with her is disappearing. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to "woman up" and just bring her back even though she doesn't want to come back. Please help!

Tulasc......my stepson wrote his dad and I an email something much like the one you posted from your daughter's boyfriend/husband.

Have you or your husband responded?

My husband told his sons who is now 27 that he himself went thru a time when he thought he knew everything and he and his parents were not on the best of terms, however, husband told stepson that one thing was different and that was the lack of respect that he demonstrated towards us. He (husband) then told him that he felt that he (stepson) had alot of issues to work thru and alot of maturing to do yet. We have not contacted him and he has not contacted us.

Personally, I think your daughter's boyfriend went past proper boundaries. The email he sent was not only hateful but very threatening. I would stay away.

Karma will get them, it always does. They will have to turn and make an about face.

Don't lower yourself to their level and become a part of this. I am afraid any response you make will not be heard as they don't want to hear what you have to say.

My friends and brother have told me time and time again..."Walk away. Don't answer the phone, don't open the door, don't respond to her in any way until she comes crawling back and delivers the respect you deserve as her parents on a silver platter."

I haven't listened. Until it was forced on me in this manner....I still thought I could "fix" it. That with time, she would mature. That with my patience, she would come around. That with me biting my tongue, she would appreciate it. But NO. Nothing I do is good enough. My love isn't wanted. My presence isn't wanted. Yet, somehow my money was always good enough. I'm so over it. She's a woman now. I did my job raising her to 18 healthy, beautiful, well groomed, well taken care of, now she has to live with her decisions. I pray Karma kicks her butt.....Good grief....I don't know if I'm mad as heck or hurt so bad...or both!

I hate today!!! She has been staying with us this week because her sorry excuse for a husband will not get them a home. He is staying with his mom and she asked to stay with us. I take her to school on my way to work. She has not been attending much lately, and I was informed that there is nothing I can do about it, since she is "married". I waited until I was almost late for work for her to come out of the bathroom. She didn't and I feel that is redeness and disrespect n her part to make me late, and I might aded she had no remorse about it. I made her go sit on the back porch and locked her out. Now I am feeling guilty, but I am so sick of all this madness.
Sometimes all i want is for her to just hold me close and say one sincere I Love you. Is that too much for a Mom to ask?

I am a good mom. I adopted her when she was 11 and have loved her like my own biological children. I have given her my time and energy to attend all the football games and school functions. I have hauled her and her friends around to the mall, skating rink, and other places and even paid their way if they couldn't afford it. We have taken her on vacations and sent her to concerts. even above all the material things, we have given her a spiritual and moral atmosphere to grow up in, Whether she admits it or not I AM A GOOD MOM. My two grown children weighed in on this and affirms this. I will not blame myself today.