After my husband divorcing me after 25 years of marriage in 2003 and after I found out he had an affair. Since the divorce my daughter has become extremely close with the other woman who she had said she hated. Since the divorce my daughter who is 29 with two sons continues to do and say extreme mean things. She posts videos and pictures on facebook with captions such as Hi Grandma Kim referring to the other woman. There is so much more and I don't say anything but it is so depressing.
How do I deal with this.
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Mom4Life
Posts:
1
From:
texas
Registered:
11/14/11
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(4 of 4)
Re: My daughter really hurts me.
Nov 14, 2011 9:20 AM
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I see it's been a while since you've posted, I'm new to this forum. In dealing with my own present situation which I'll address in a minute, I want to say to you that no mother deserves to be manipulated and hurt in this way. She thinks or knows it is going to hurt you and it has.
My 22 year old college daughter uses this same tactic. Last night, for the 2nd time in several years she called me a _ _ _ _ _, as if she was giving me a recipe. I love her sooooooooo much and the fear of what our relationship is turning into made me turn to prayer to protect myself. I could not understand why she had to call me that of all things. It did not make sense. I finally feel that this manipulation and resentment towards me have come out in the open and she doesn't care how I feel. She has betrayed the trust I felt we had between us. I have loved her, taken care of her, nurturing her the best I knew how and it has finally come to this. I told her she cannot live here and treat me like this and that we needed to figure out a way for her to move out because I'm not budging. It's my home. She turned it around and now she is acting like a martyr because I have told her she needed to move out. Enough said. I will pray for her offenses.
You are not alone ok? What is it with daughters? Do we give too much?
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mom who struggles
Posts:
3
From:
michigan
Registered:
6/25/11
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(3 of 4)
Re: My daughter really hurts me.
Jun 28, 2011 2:39 PM
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I have asked many times and she always tells me that I am crazy. When she says things out of line I usually tell her that I would appreciate if she would not speak to me that way. I have written her to ask her what is wrong and it never mentioned that I wrote. I just wish she would tell me what is bothering her about me.
When my daughter was eight, I loss my second daughter at 21 months when I was 33. I wanted another child so I went to see if I could have another baby because I had my tubes tied. I received good news but my husband at the time told me no without discussion. I was devastated and it took a couple years to get past it. When I was 39 my ex turned to me and asked about having another baby. At first I didn't know what to say but no because of my age.
After my divorce my sister over that my husband told my daughter that I never wanted more children after her sister died. My sister told my daughter the true because my sister went with me for testing. I spoke with my daughter after my sister told her the truth and seemed to feel better about the truth.
The ex family had always caused trouble in my family and I think that may be some of the issue. But I am only guessing.
I appreciate the thoughts and hope by talking about it will get better.
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broken flip flop
Posts:
2
From:
manchester
Registered:
6/27/11
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(2 of 4)
Re: My daughter really hurts me.
Jun 27, 2011 5:19 AM
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I'm really sorry to hear about that. I have a horrible daughter and I don't know if it's a female thing but girls/young women appear to behave in ways that defy any logic or reasonable thought. To have the treble whammy of your husband cheating, subsequent divorce and then your daughters betrayal is a tough pill to swallow. I hate facebook by the way - it must cause more heartache than it repairs. Why don't you send your daughter a hand written note saying that what she has done has upset you and that if there is something you've ever done to make her do these things then you'd like to talk about it because you love her. If she's anything like my daughter she will either ignore it or swear at you. Hopefully she's nothing like my daughter so what have you got to lose?
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mom who struggles
Posts:
3
From:
michigan
Registered:
6/25/11
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(1 of 4)
My daughter really hurts me.
Jun 25, 2011 10:14 AM
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After my husband divorcing me after 25 years of marriage in 2003 and after I found out he had an affair. Since the divorce my daughter has become extremely close with the other woman who she had said she hated. Since the divorce my daughter who is 29 with two sons continues to do and say extreme mean things. She posts videos and pictures on facebook with captions such as Hi Grandma Kim referring to the other woman. There is so much more and I don't say anything but it is so depressing.
How do I deal with this.
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