hello! building trust is more important here. there's nothing wrong in trying to control IMs just don't go over board. you child after all deserves some privacy.

Hmm,

I did this with my 14 year old girls phone and all I would say is be prepared for what you may view.

In my case it wasn't my daughter but what her friends were saying. This also rang true when I viewed her facebook wall.

If you have to monitor her/his texts then it is probably best doing so in the open and not behind their back. They are going to be secretive anyway but any confrontation is just going to lead to more secrecy.

You may sit down and talk to her about why she is lying about her age (it often helps if the parents listen to such talk much), it is recommended that you may have to use filters to limit her access or monitoring software to keep it label. -- LED Flashlights | Cree LED Flashlights

Hi, I am new to this, also new to all this "techno" stuff we didn't know until recently.
Does anyone have some advice as to how to monitor what is being siad on Mxit? on cell phone in South Africa? I am concerned about what they are discussing with the people they chat to . children's ages are 12 and 13. thanks, r

I think that this is such a huge, important topic today, as it such a big part of a kid’s social life and what they learn. My personal view is that what level of monitoring you choose to do should in part be based on your kids’ ages. Mine are not quite 16 yet, but soon enough. Any online safety experts that I’ve come across recommend establishing rules for online activities and then in some way monitoring those activities. Just as you in some manner monitor where your kids go, with whom, doing what in the real world, then it is reasonable to do the same with online activity. I don’t actually monitor all that much, mostly keeping it at a high level, providing me with a sense of what they’re doing online and how much. Still, I feel better knowing I have the capability to dig a little deeper, so that if there is something I see that concerns me and I were not able to get answers from my kids that I am comfortable with, then I could take a closer look. If there is anything new that they are doing it may prompt me to ask them a few questions to better understand it, and I’ve found that to be especially helpful.

I would recommend having at your disposal a tool such as Family Cyber Alert, or I’m sure other similar products are also available. I know people who use it much more extensively than I, but that is each parent’s personal choice. I certainly empathize with all parents who feel they have little control over their children’s online activities and experiences, but encourage any of you to not give up…a little conversation, and perhaps a tool such as I use, can go a long way to giving you a better sense of control and awareness.

thanks for info

Actually by "common principles" I meant not only Internet use but child's behavior in general. Surely if there are reasons for parents to suspect their kid in something not good for him or her they may apply to monitoring softwares. For example, parents notice that the child has some doubtful friends, or was badly known for misbehavior at school or somewhere else, or spends too much time in the Internet, stays awake late at night or has many secrets he/she doesn't want to share with etc. This is what a usual well-mannered child shouldn't do. In case something like this happens it's better for parents to find out the reasons for such behavior in order to prevent harmful consequences.
That's where monitoring softwares may help a lot.

In my family we try to be sincere with each other and not to keep secrets. If I decide to monitor someone I'll inform them about it

Hello, I'm also new here but I'm very glad that there is a place where people can discuss such important issues as PC security of our children
As for me I strongly believe that you shouldn't violate your child's privacy unless there is some strong reasons for this. If a child behaves normally and doesn't break some common principles there is no need to control him. We should trust our children but warn them about all the dangers on the net. Though there are cases when parents must take care of what their child s doing in the Internet to protect him or her. Especially in such vulnerable period of their life as adolescence. It's to parents to decide what is good for their children.
But it's only my opinion. Someone may disagree