Ryan2Army,
I'm going to have to agree with Breyna here. Blaming IMVU for your wife's behavior is like blaming pornography for destroying families - it puts the cart before the horse. Your marriage and the behavior of your wife is between the two of you and IMVU had nothing to do with it. Perhaps your time will be best spent pulling your marriage together and seeking counseling.

LordSoulFire

i think imvu should be shut down completely its made my wife a different person, she neglects our kids now, she doesnt spend time with me or the kids. this program is horrible it destroys marriages and it should be shut down to save the people around the user.

IMVU has 2 forms of age verification: age verified and the AP (Adult Pass). The AP requires it be purchased with a credit card, if your 14 year old swipes your card and gets him/herself an AP I think you have bigger issues than just who they're talking to on the internet.

If you don't like your child on IMVU, for what ever reasons ... UNINSTALL it, block the program, supervise them. I'm not saying that anyone is wrong for not wanting their kids on IMVU or any other internet social network but stop pointing your fingers at the medium, turn it around and point it at yourself. If you don't want your child on that program then stop it. YOU are the adult, YOU are the parent. Stop blaming the system, step up and guide your child toward activities that you DO approve of instead of whacking away at something that others enjoy and take part of, and I don't just mean on the internet either.

It's not a chat rooms job to babysit our children so don't complain because you don't like how they are doing it. I know alot of people won't agree with me and that's fine and your free to do so. However those of you who would attack me for my view my only defence is ..... IT IS YOUR CHILD, TAKE CONTROL AND DON'T LET THEM GO TO THOSE WEBSITES ... and you can't argue that.

To weildgirl,
Thank you for your post.. as well as the pointers you outlined. This is exactly the type of information that I'm talking about when I say that we need to provide information and resources to parents - as well as teenagers, though I failed to mention it.

To Milanis,
I'm going to skip over the majority of your post for personal reasons, but there were a few things you mentioned that I'd like to respond to and perhaps add a different perspective for consideration....

" Now, IMVU makes 1.7 million a month, or at least that is what I just read. With that in mind, if they were really concerned with the health of our young people, then they would take some of that money, and develop a better means of age verification or some better security system or something..... "

Unfortunately, there's not really a better means of age verification or security. There were a number of options issued to IMVU years ago regarding Age Verification - it chose to go with its own ideas instead. I can tell you that I researched it greatly, and ultimately Age Verification is in its infancy, and at this point its merely a paper tiger. It sounds great, but in application it fails. Until technology advances it will - in its current form, merely offer up a false sense of security for everyone who trusts in it. It will take far more than throwing money at it in order to solve the issue. What will do wonders however is interest being issued to it, and minds working through obstacles in order to improve it.

" I am personally against children, teens, anyone under the age of 18 playing videogames like Grand Theft Auto, Saints Row, or any number of Videogames that have violence, sex, drugs and allow minors to steal and cheat and kill.

Now most people have told me, well its just a game, I disagree, I a veteran gamer of 27 years, and one thing that I can tell you is, that any form of violence, drugs, sex, etc..., no matter how small it is, will affect any person, if they are around it long enough. "

Personally, I'm against anyone deciding whats appropriate for teenagers and children beyond their own parents at this point - be it in terms of video games, music, or movies. The Rating Services are yet another paper tiger - one that some parents have used as a crutch when it comes to monitoring their children and what they do and see. What lead to that paper crutch from what I've seen is the idea that it takes a village to raise a child - and while I'd like to believe that an entire village would raise fine examples of humanity, it truly only takes one parent. I grew up in the age of Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and The Omen.. not to mention Poltergeist, and The Exorcist.. among others. The majority of those movies I saw by the time I was 12... because my parents felt that I could handle the subject matter. Needless to say, Horror flicks and nude " teenagers " running rampant through woods in the middle of the night bore me to no end. I have very little interest - if any - in the majority of the content I grew up on. Thus far I've avoided lopping anyone's appendages and heads off with a machete. My point is... it comes back to the parents to decide what's best for their child - not everyone else.. and parents don't need told what is and is not acceptable for their children - they need resources and information that they can put to use deciding for themselves.

Before I forget.. I also stole from stores as a child - was caught and handled by my mother and the local police, more than once. Needless to say, I no longer steal either. In my life experience - my mother, and later a stepfather provided me with valuable lessons, understanding, and helped me garner enough wisdom from my mistakes that I grew up adjusted enough to check my impulses.

"
Her Grandmother and Mother, don't know of IMVU's existence, they don't monitor her at all, she has full access to the computer, and she spends every waking hour on it. My dad will be there to help her, I hope, but in the end it will be solely up to Jesus. "

It's well that you've taken the time to look after your niece, its certainly commendable - but this paragraph stood out for me. The vast majority of children on the Internet ( I'm including Teenagers in there as well ) are exactly where your niece is.. surrounded by adults that aren't paying proper attention. There's a huge issue when out of 4 adults.. only 2 ( ? ) are doing what an adult relative should be doing. In all respect to your religious beliefs - its not Jesus who will in the end decide what happens to her... it will be her own choices and the choices ( Neglectful or not ) that the adults in her life make. In this case, there's absolutely no need for more paper tiger thinking, with all due respect. Adults with children who use the Internet need to take a full on responsible approach to the safety of their own children and not leave it to anyone, or anything else.

In all other points you made, I fully agree with your post, its fairly dead on..

Lord Tristan

Before answering the question of the original poster, I would like to say that I am a member of IMVU. I am an adult. I do not have children. I am happily married.

My husband and I are both on IMVU. We are both believers, and do not use IMVU for any form of cyber-sexual activity aside from with one another, if that. We have been bullied on IMVU before over stupid things. People will message you, having never spoken to you before and invite you to date or proposition you in some way. Most of these are spammers who are using IMVU as a way to link more people to their "sexy pictures" website. I just delete those comments, or if the same person continues, I report them.

I joined IMVU when my best friend introduced me to it. I like to chat with older teenagers and other adults. As I have said, I do not participate sexually with anyone on IMVU. There are a lot of sexual things you can do with IMVU, but you have to have a credit card or PayPal or a Prepaid IMVU card to get those particular actions. When I meet newbies, I usually will allow them to use their actions on me in order to figure out what each one does. This is due in part to the fact that some are teenagers and I'd rather them learn the actions with someone who is not going to do anything about it than with someone who is going to talk them into cyber-sex over an accidental kiss. My point here is that there are a lot of good people on it, but just like any other chat room, there are dangerous people as well.

As a young adult who began using the internet at the age of 10 and who has been chatting without parental supervision since I was 16, there are some pointers I would give to parents and teens:

Parents:
(1) Start early with you kids... Talk to them about the dangers and the good to come with chatting. The dangers are that there are bad people just like there are bad people in the real world. The good is that you meet a variety of people, you do learn a lot more.

(2) Supervise your kids. Keep the Internet in your bedroom or a common area of the home. This way there is less chance that they will be able to do things you wouldn't want.

(3) Keep the lines of communication open. Teach your kids that they can come to you with a question (no matter how embarrassing about the conversations they are in.

(4) Keep an open mind about their internet friends and be willing to talk about them.

(5) Encourage your kids to have a social life outside of the internet as well as having their internet friends. But please understand that kids are mean...to each other. Because of that, there are those kids who honestly do not have friends. Please be understanding of that.

Teens:

(1) NEVER EVER EVER agree to meet anyone online in person without telling family and/or friends, and take family or friends with you to meet the person for the first time or two.

(2) Keep the lines of communication with your parents open, if possible. Talk about your online friends. Talk about how you feel about them, etc. If your parents don't/won't listen, talk to friends and other family members who do. If you don't have that, I would even consider talking to a school counselor if you're willing. The point is, have someone who cares about you that you talk to about these people.

(3) Buddy up. I joined IMVU when my best personal (real life) friend introduced me to it. We've been on IMVU since 2006 and 2007. Our husbands are online as well. We have a nice network going on. We all know each other and care enough about one another that we watch each others' backs on IMVU. It's not just strangers we met online...

(4) Watch what you say to people. Watch what they say to you. If they start talking cyber sex, leave the chat and block them.

This is true Tharcia. While maybe there are some things IMVU could do to make a safer enviroment for under 18's any measures taken will only seem a challage for them to jump over. If the minor is industrious enof they will infact find a way over any safty measures. I hear a lot about minors starting inapropiate convorsations with an unsuspecting adult all the time. Where are these childrens parents?

Unfortunatly Tonya, your daughter clicked the link saying that she HAD parental consent. IMVU doesn't enforce it, they take the click at face value, instead of offering ways to verify if the child has consent to be there or not