JB-

Smart and difficult questions. I'll summarize what I think you are asking:

1. Are there ethical standards to online behavior?

2. If so, who should enforce those standards - parents, online community, law enforcement, teachers, etc?

3. Does online behavior reflect anything about a person's real life?

4. Is there a risk of confusion between Virtual and Real life?

5. If there is such a risk, is the danger that the Virtual will become too attractive and one will withdraw from Real Life?

6. Or, is the risk that one will try to replicate in Real Life that which they experience in the Virtual?

My sense is that, clearly, (1) there are ethical standards to online communication. I believe we are still trying to figure out who should do the enforcement.

(2) It would seem that most online communities do their own enforcement, squelching or banning those that are particularly offensive. If the behavior becomes criminal, law enforcement and Internet providers tend to pull others in - schools and parents. Should parents or schools get involved earlier? We don't know. Those that use Internet filters and spyware to monitor or restrict their kids probably believe so. Others argue that people should be allowed to explore their identity in what appears to be a relatively harmless way (though it may, ultimately, prove not to be that harmless, afterall).

(3) Yes, the online behavior almost certainly reflects something about the person's Real Life. However, what that might be will be disguised and difficult to discern. For example, playing a violent game, hour after hour, might say something about the person's anger. However, in my experience, it is more typically an expression of the person's sexual frustration. So, the Virtual behavior is important but must be interpreted cautiously and most parents are not in a position to do so - developmentally, teenagers should be individuating from their parents, keeping secrets and the such.

(4-6) Yes, there is substantial risk of confusion between the Virtual and the Real. The risk goes both ways - one can get overly immersed in the virtual at the expense of Real relationships or one can try to impose the Virtual on the Real World. The latter situation is more difficult to understand.

I believe the Virtual gives one a gratifying sense of empowerment and mastery. If immersed in the Virtual, one begins to believe they really are quite special. Upon reentering the Real, people may then try to maintain that sense of control and power. They can do this by stubbornly adopting and holding beliefs, many of which might conflict with parents, teachers, or the police. Whereas, when confronted by such authority, most people accept their powerlessness and try to negotiate, those that have artificially inflated their self worth do not do so. To admit powerlessness would be a terrible disgrace as it would also be an admission that they live in a Virtual fantasy. I could go on - it is an interesting and important topic - but I've probably already written way too much.

The clearest example of this sort of thinking was what happened at Columbine. I've written a large paper on that topic. The theory could/should probably be generalized to the more modern variants of terrorism we see today.

Regards,

Jerald Block, MD
www.jeraldjblock.medem.com